Ramblings

Another chance at life may be the death of me. Why can't I see past the sins of the flesh that have been haunting me? The only thing that made me feel alive will bury me. Every time I return to the sanctity of my castle walls, pain and past regret begin to seep back in like ground water. Like bloodhounds after a wounded fox. The mistakes have locked on my scent and I can feel their breath on my heels. It may already be too late. I believe I'm not meant to venture down lost roads again or I may never again cross into the safety of my castle's gate.

Quote of the Day

I can't believe how fast things move on the outside. I saw an automobile once when I was a kid, but now they're everywhere. The world went and got itself in a big damn hurry. The parole board got me into this halfway house called "The Brewer" and a job bagging groceries at the Foodway. It's hard work and I try to keep up, but my hands hurt most of the time. I don't think the store manager likes me very much. Sometimes after work, I go to the park and feed the birds. I keep thinking Jake might just show up and say hello, but he never does. I hope wherever he is, he's doin' okay and makin' new friends. I have trouble sleepin' at night. I have bad dreams like I'm falling. I wake up scared. Sometimes it takes me a while to remember where I am. Maybe I should get me a gun and rob the Foodway so they'd send me home. I could shoot the manager while I was at it, sort of like a bonus. I guess I'm too old for that sort of nonsense any more. I don't like it here. I'm tired of being afraid all the time. I've decided not to stay. I doubt they'll kick up any fuss. Not for an old crook like me. ~ Brooks Hatlen -- from Shawshank Redemption written by  Frank Darabont

Ska Song of the Day

Ska Song of the Day: Guest Post by Tuesday

Quote of the Day

"If you don't have time to read, you don't have the time (or the tools) to write. Simple as that." — Stephen King

Ska Song of the Day

Quote of the Day

Get busy living or get busy dying-Stephen King

Ska Song of the Day

Quote of the Day

Babies have big heads and big eyes, and tiny little bodies with tiny little arms and legs. So did the aliens at Roswell! I rest my case. 

William Shatner 

Ska Song of the Day

Ska Song of the Day

Although this isn't a ska song it is in Honor of Amy's contribution to the Music world..you are lost but not forgotten...R.I.P. Amy

Quote of the Day

Be not afraid of growing slowly; be afraid only of standing still. Energy and persistence conquer all things.~ Unknown 

Quote of the Day

Be not afraid of growing slowly; be afraid only of standing still. Energy and persistence conquer all things.~ Unknown 

Streets of the South Side (South Side Boys) - After Fourth Hour

...continues from.

By fourth hour honors English Lt. my locker was empty but my pockets weren't. I had a lot of freedom and fun, Livin' "Ghetto Fabulous". I was a capitalist in every sense of the word, it was of no consequence my wares were mostly illicit in nature: baseball cards, weed, "starter hats," LSD, candy bars...anything with a fat profit margin.

By sixth hour I had the evening planned and the boys were chompin at their respective bits. Just gotta get home do my chores, my homework, and eat dinner with the folks. This is a working class neighborhood and you make damn sure you're home for dinner with your family. After dinner, my dad would unlatch my lead and watch me hit the door like a hungry dog with his dog pack waiting feverishly at the curb. Back out on the streets Droogies!!!  And yes folks, I had a job; it was at HyVee, but, I'm not on the schedule tonight. My parents and sometimes even my teachers, would tell me, "look at your friends! waiting for you to make a move, you are just a natural leader," and I would say to myself, "okay, so now what?" There was a distinct shortage of positive influences chiming in on this subject, but why didn't I just ask? (Another hindsight moment brought to you by Zanax!!). Well that would have been admitting I didn't know everything already. I did hear a faint voice of reason but couldn't quite make out the voice. Then the streets came to me, spoke clearly to me and told me where to put this stuff inside me -- right up inside her, block by block. I didn't understand my leadership potential, but I knew how to make money, Period...

To be continued... 

Ska Song of the Day

   

Quote of the Day

"One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain."~Bob Marley 

Quote of the Day

"I wish I could just hug you all,but I'm not gonna!"

Layne Staley

Ska Song of the Day

Ska Song of the Day

An old Omaha favorite...

Quote of the Day

"A man with money is no match against a man on a mission." -Doyle Brunson 

Quote of the Day

"Music washes away from the soul
the dust of everyday life."~ Berthold Auerbach (1812-1882) ~

Ska Song of the Day

Quote of the Day

"I'm the one that's got to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to." ~James Marshall Hendrix

Ska Song of the Day

This song was suggested by Frank Rolfe. A special thank you to Frank!

If anyone would like to put in their suggestion, contact me via Facebook.

It's Too Late to Say Goodbye - Originally Written Dec, 10, 1990

I wrote this article for the Bryan Sr. "The Orator" in tenth grade, after the loss of a close friend and I've recently decided to add another chapter. Out of respect for those involved in the second chapter, I've decided not to print it at this time.

It was almost ten o'clock. I decided to make my way into Sts. Peter and Paul Church. I was going there on that day to "celebrate the death and rebirth" of a very close friend, Gavin Gusak. Even though the priest attempted to make this an almost joyous occasion, I could find no room for celebration in my heart. 

I remember feeling much more calm at Gavin's funeral because I had attended the Rosary. So many thoughts filled my head, but mostly thoughts of guilt for never letting Gavin know what a close friend I considered him. I thought about when we were younger, everything was simpler then. We never left the neighborhood, our skateboards being our only mode of transportation. We never even thought about the future, never thinking about the things that might happen.  

Gavin had a unique personality that made him well liked by whoever met him. He was good-hearted and always had a smile on his face. I think the priest at Gavin's funeral summed him up best when he said, "Gavin was always a little bit ornery with a smile." He wasn't perfect, and never claimed to be, but he was a good person.  

While sitting at the funeral, I thought about Gavin's death. I thought about the great time we had at Homecoming. I saw Gavin there and we were enjoying ourselves recalling old times. It all seemed so routine, I had no idea I'd never see him again.

I was so nervous on the night of the Rosary, wondering how many people have lost a close friend to drunken or reckless driving. Who might I lose next? It terrified me to even consider this. When I was praying for Little Brother (that was Gavin's nickname because of his size compared to most of his close friends), it was so hard to look down at him. It didn't look like the Galvin I knew. At that moment I realized I'd never see him again. 

What bothered me most was that Gavin was so young, he never got a fair chance at life. He would never get the chance to graduate or get to see his little brother Clifton grow up. He'd never get to tell relatives how much he really cared, to hear how much people cared about him, and to enjoy life to its fullest. We all loved you, little brother, we'll never forget the good times. That's all we've got now. 

 July 2011

My dear friend Brandy called and said, "I'm going to St. Mary's today. Do you want to go? I'm going to visit Gavin today." I felt my heart hit my gut because it had been 20 years since I'd  been to the cemetery. After the initial thump I braced for the guilt and it never hit. I wasn't sure why but upon entering the cemetery the normal river of tears was nowhere to be seen. I started to realize I wasn't carrying the guilt I remember carrying as a kid. Although I hadn't been back since a few months after his funeral, but had honestly had him in my heart and mind virtually everyday since then.

I never fathomed going back and ever feeling remotely calm or at peace but I did this day, it felt like the three of us were at the park smoking and laughing. I could hear his voice and feel his presence. We did cry a little but we laughed, shared some smoke, and caught up. A lot of smiles and "you remember when?" Right then I prayed that his family and other friends had gotten to a somewhat comfortable place with their grief. I hoped they realized there is no good reason to harbor guilt over mixed "goodbyes." I could see Gavin smiling down on me, reassuring me it is as good as we've heard on the other side, and I can relax and live out my earthly life in peace. Thanks to Brandy and Gavin for inspiration.

Quote of the Day

Winning isn't everything, but wanting to win is.~Vince Lombardi

Ska Song of the Day

Quote of the Day

"Bob's legacy is reaching out over the decades. It has achieved a true value through hard work and Bob's dedication. He's still serving the people...Bob was a special person. Whatever he did in his lifetime will never have been in vain. He never took himself to be as important as others see him, yet we all know he had the ability to shake the world." ~Rita Marley

Ska Song of the Day

Quote of the Day

"Entertainment! change my life. It did for Kurt Cobain, too. When Gang of Four came to Seattle, I drove all the way from Boise, ID to see 'em. It was a totally nuts crowd. People still talk about it -it was pure energy. Andy Gill spent the whole gig just whacking his guitar like he was beating a small child or something. John King was out of his f***ing mind. His eyes were all rolled back into his head I used to be in a cover band that played all of Entertainment! We were called Red Set." Tad Doyle ~TAD

Ska Song of the Day

Disclaimer: Although today's song is not a Ska song, it is worthy to stand amongst them.

"Entertainment! shredded everything that came before it. The Gang of Four know how to swing I stole a lot from them." ~Michael Stipe R.E.M.

Streets of the South Side (South Side Boys) - Monday Morning

...continues from.

The alarms' screech pushes me to my feet 32 minutes til blast off...wallet...check. Homework...check. Pistol...check. Two fat joints, check. 15 minutes til blast off. Cereal and glass of Pepsi will do. 7:15 time to run. The blast of Jeff's horn out front is the signal, let's get stoned and get to school.

Business Management first hour, how ironic. Could have taught this class in 7th grade. I think a nap sounds great. B+! and old Mr. Brittlepie knew I was baked everyday. He despised me... I abhorred him and we were as cordial as kittens! He hated my status and what he thought I stood for and I hated the symbolism in him."'What a boy may become,' Headline story at 8:00!"

Looking back now, my potential impact was already being bled from me. Drop by pure untainted drop. Pure life blood left on the West side of the gym and up in the catwalk.

To be continued...

Ska Song of the Day

Quote of the Day

"Things are happening!"Johnny Richter of the Kotton Mouth Kings

Quote of the Day

Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.~ Harriet Tubman

Ska Song of the Day

  

Quote of the Day

Ska Song of the Day

Streets of the South Side (South Side Boys)

The first time I saw her, I was just a young boy. Even then, I knew without a doubt, she would teach me everything, completely... unselfishly... coming to me like a temptress in the night, she would take me under her wing and educate me in ways that most can't even fathom. Like a third parent, a .25 in my sock drawer, six grand in the lock box, and a cooler full of "the killer"... and I'm not even old enough to drive. I think I'm in love...

To be continued... 

Ramblings

Regrettably at least up until recently, I've been way less than I said I'd be... you'll soon feel my black soliloquy of the last drunken shred of my dignity... I spew it forth indignantly for no one to see... regrettably.

6/26/11

"Who are you to judge me and the life that I live... I know that I'm not perfect and that I don't claim to be...but before you point your fingers, make sure your hands are clean." ~The Honorable Robert Nesta Marley Jr.

The sun rises in the South around here!!!

Ska Song of the Day

God bless her folks,but Blondie ain't got shit one this!!

Quote of the Day

I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure--which is: Try to please everybody. ~Herbert Bayard Swope

Thanks Tuesday! :)

Follow Me On Twitter

Click the title of this post to follow me on Twitter. I'm new on there so, I need some dedicated followers!

Many more exciting things to come!

Roots of The Skinhead

I decided to post this video for quite a few reasons, the most important of which is to dispel misconceptions and stereotypes. Having personal exposure to both sides of this cultural debate I find it shameful that racists/separatists even refer to themselves as skinheads. True skinheads originated in Jamaica, migrated to the UK, and eventually ended up in the ol' USA.

It's about real working class values, pride in your neighborhood, racial tolerance, and love of SKA music!!! Now get up on your feet... and dance to the beat.

Ramblings

7-2-11

She saw my insides out and never even flinched. The fresh wounds and scars she embraced them and immediately began to erase them.

"Thank you Lord for what you've done for me, Thank you Lord for what you're doing now." ~The Honorable Robert Nesta Marley Jr.

I feel alive today! My heads in the gutter...but my feet are in the clouds..."

It's funny how you find yourself getting lost with yourself! To get lost alone with yourself way back there where the underbrush is up to your waist and you don't remember ever being there for sure... except maybe in a dream. To clear away the neglect and dance like a child in the moonlight is bliss.

Intuition - Your Best Tool When Selecting a Home Improvement Contractor

In my fifteen plus years in the construction trade I have often thought about how little influence a flashy portfolio or reference list has. My “picture book” was rarely even opened and as far as reference lists, unless you know the previous customer personally, or have seen the work with your own eyes, these can be smoke screens at best. A slick salesman once told me, “You can baffle them with BS if you’re not on a level playing field.” That being said, I’ve put together a few ideas that may help “level said playing field” when picking a home improvement contractor.

First and foremost, trust your intuition. Unless you are known in your sewing circle as the “one with too much faith in humanity” trust your judgment of character and intuition as your best decision making skills. Be prepared to gauge a reaction and be attentive to how things are said as much as what is said. Anyone really can be read like a book if you can just turn the pages. Approach is similarly to any relationship, professional or otherwise. Pay attention to their ability to communicate and convey their vision. Have a few questions ready about design issues or problem areas. Open a dialogue to get some insight on their willingness to work with you as a team while still realizing respectively that he/she is the professional. It also wouldn’t hurt to have a few parameter related questions ready i.e. square footage, lineal footage, material lists, etc., to have an idea if they can calculate efficiently and accurately.

Okay now, bear with me on this next one folks, there is something to be said about the psychology of the third party observer. A second set of eyes to watch from the “outside in,” someone who’s judgment you trust, anyone from your spouse to your neighbor, to simply gauge reactions to questions or even take a quick peak at the contractors work truck and tools, while you discuss specifics indoors. “A busy man’s space may be cluttered but a lazy man’s space if filthy.”

There are obviously textbook more typical steps to this type of decision making, especially in the industry of home improvement contractors. The competition may appear identical right down to the price per square foot. So, I believe a more intuition-based approach is as valuable as anything in this day and age. This being said, I hope I have left you today with at least a few new tools to ease the pain of your home improvement decisions.