Sometimes Life Gets In The Way -- Riding The Wave In

...continues from.

I recently wrote, "the reality when you set aside what warms your soul for what warms your belly can be a strange feeling." I am elated to announce that I've since firmly grabbed hold of the best of both worlds and it feels great. I am back in the construction trade as a ceramic/stone installer.

It feels like I'm back home from a long journey of scavenging with nothing to show for it. Only to find my treasure was right in front of me! I give thanks and praises to God for giving me the faith and focus to take the leap back in. I feel it is a big step back in the direction of the righteous path from which I should have never strayed.

I am a more disciplined man than the last time I traveled this road and I can assure you this opportunity will not pass me by. The light at the end of the tunnel is a bright as the sun and it warms my soul.

"Keep your face to the sun and you cannot see the shadows." ~Helen Keller

South Side Boys - Probationary Period

...continued from.

After probation we started to build a family. I found a trade and things were good. The kids grounded me some, and slowed me down. This was yet another, "I could pull my head out of my ass now" moments that slipped right by. I was making a good honest living, but two incomes are better than one, right? I never had to do much more than kick back with my boys at night to make money...at first. Money has a way of completely f*cking up one's judgement. Each night I was with the boys I wasn't with my family. F*cked up thing is, it's a vicious cycle because the money I made was for my family. So you begin to intentionally dull your conscience because you're "providing" but trust me, you will end up paying with your soul a thousand fold more than you have ever earned. I even became obsessed with my legitimate work 50-60 hours a week, plus side jobs, and hustling on top of that. My family grew up while I was on the grind and I'll never get that back. I financed the garden but feel like I barely got to see it blossom. You must be a provider but I took that shit and ran it into the ground. I allowed the responsibility of earning once again cloud my moral judgement and continue to deplete me. After awhile the hustle didn't come so easy, but that wasn't going to stop me. Lord knows it should have. When the hustle doesn't come to you it's something you never chase. That only ends in heartache or prison but I'm Big Daddy, doing my f*cking thing since I was 15 and no one is going to tell me otherwise.

...to be continued.

Transcending

If I don't expect to grow each day then why was my first step ever taken? I suppose to remind me of these days when I'm starting to feel the warm breeze twisting its way around the walls before me, only to drive them to dirt as if never above earth. That obstacle course is of my making. I need only choose to walk above the maze and it no longer impedes me.

Today is a day I choose to not be angry; today I am grateful for my family members old and new. Today I will be happy to know I will be a righteous son, father, and someday husband. I will share my smiles and affection like candy. I will hesitate to point out others short comings and flaws to allow genuine reflection on my own. I will strive to give willingly and unselfishly, wise and well guided advice. I would imagine a fair bit more listening in lieu of speaking wouldn't be all that either.

I can feel myself turning the corner and there's a sunny day right around the way. I will create it because I deserve it. I will transcend.

Song of the Day

The Decline of Civilization Or the Dawn of a New Era - Etiquette in Society Today

It's obvious we live in an increasingly busy society but personally I am appalled at the lack of common decency I witness in day to day life. I often wonder is it just over extended/over scheduled rat racers or does it go a bit deeper than that? I lean towards  the latter but my lady Tuesday insists I'm just a pessimist.

Self absorption and self importance seems to be running rampant to the point of a dilemma some days. From road-ragers to door slammers and elevator-closers "love thy neighbor" seems to be a mere memory. Now I must admit there's usually a person or two on a daily basis that do their best to renew my faith in society but they've got their work cut out.

A pleasant smile or a warm good morning are highly underrated tools to effect a more peaceful society. I know it seems ridiculously simple but just consider the idea. I believe you can generally change the path of a troubled soul with something as simple as a warm greeting and a smile. Even just eye contact can brighten a miserable day.

I'm not sure if I'm just an odd creature or a dying breed but I've never felt in line with the average bear. All signs do seem to be pointing towards a more cold, crude society. Sorry folks, the verdict is in, the decline of the American family ensures that decline wins over dawn of a new era.

God Bless and have a Merry Christmas.

Quote of the Day

LMFAO

"Thinkin sucks dude"~"Sethro Tull" Nauslar

South Side Boys - 21 and Running

...continues from.

By '95 my future wife and I were in full gear and life was pretty much the same as before except I was now a salesman at a lawn care company. Folks, if you didn't just die laughing, back up and reread. I sold these people the guarantee they'd always have good green grass. Not sure what you call that, literal metaphor comparison or some sh!t. As sad as it is now, it's still f@cking hilarious nonetheless. Just now 21, whole life's just begun, it's like a free buffet where we run. Living fast and working hard became the standard and the love affair that can become of that couple may be deadly. Money, love, and self-confidence are just the first few losses that come to mind. Lust of the fast lane tends to numb your soul to the whispers inside. Okay of course I"m writing this to provoke you, entertain you, you know a few chuckles and whatnot but most importantly I want to point out what  direction a potentially magnificent future can succumb to over a lust affair with the streets. I'm 37 now and when this story is done I'm planning to keep it all love from 37 forward. Reason is I finally got my head COMPLETELY out of my ass (OUCH!) and do plan on keeping it that way. Okay okay, I know I'm jumping around but just buck up and stay with me. 21 just begun, fun, fun, F@CK!

Messed around and got in a little legal trouble. Not big trouble but enough that should have sent a guy straight into the work force as a sole means of income. Me on the other hand I wasn't ready to relinquish my status and my hustle, whatever those may have been.

There's a short time during probation that I did fly straight but she spoke to me at night because the street was in fact my teacher and confidant. I supposed she deserved the floor for a moment.

To be continued...

Quote of the Day

If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts, he shall end in certainty. 

~Francis Bacon

Song of the Day