South Side Boys - Probationary Period

...continued from.

After probation we started to build a family. I found a trade and things were good. The kids grounded me some, and slowed me down. This was yet another, "I could pull my head out of my ass now" moments that slipped right by. I was making a good honest living, but two incomes are better than one, right? I never had to do much more than kick back with my boys at night to make money...at first. Money has a way of completely f*cking up one's judgement. Each night I was with the boys I wasn't with my family. F*cked up thing is, it's a vicious cycle because the money I made was for my family. So you begin to intentionally dull your conscience because you're "providing" but trust me, you will end up paying with your soul a thousand fold more than you have ever earned. I even became obsessed with my legitimate work 50-60 hours a week, plus side jobs, and hustling on top of that. My family grew up while I was on the grind and I'll never get that back. I financed the garden but feel like I barely got to see it blossom. You must be a provider but I took that shit and ran it into the ground. I allowed the responsibility of earning once again cloud my moral judgement and continue to deplete me. After awhile the hustle didn't come so easy, but that wasn't going to stop me. Lord knows it should have. When the hustle doesn't come to you it's something you never chase. That only ends in heartache or prison but I'm Big Daddy, doing my f*cking thing since I was 15 and no one is going to tell me otherwise.

...to be continued.